AI bots stand around and wait, run straight into fire and make a nuisance of themselves, and the dialogue.well, deary me, the dialogue. Weapons are limp and forgettable, with shots failing to give any sort of satisfying feedback or response as they connect. The actual gunplay here is excruciatingly bad. We kicked off our time with this one by jumping into the single-player story campaign, Baker's Battle, an incredibly messy - almost nonsensical - set of bland missions that attempt to dazzle you with their star power whilst frogmarching you through small, linear maps packed full of insta-spawning dullard enemies who make a beeline for your position with zero tactical nous. A quick fumble around the three uninspired gameplay modes on offer here reveals a terribly basic and hackneyed co-op shooter that's got all dressed up into its best 90s gear and then fallen asleep on the way to the party. It's a window that's violently shut closed on your hopeful little fingers almost immediately though. It doesn't look half bad in places either and, for a brief window in those opening moments you may just find yourself thinking you've got your hands on a certified banger. You've taken part in a daylight shootout against police and SWAT units as ICE-T's 1992 classic Bodycount's in The House blasts away in the background. Within moments of booting into this one you've met flashy video game versions of Michael Madsen, Kim Basinger, Vanilla Ice, Chuck Norris, Danny Glover (our favourite of all the Dannys) and Michael Rooker. Crime Boss Rockay City absolutely knows it's bad too, you can tell by how it so desperately frontloads all of its (incredible) star power and its killer soundtrack into the opening minutes of the game.
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